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Recipe Box
Rustic White Bread
“If you’ve got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve got 71 cents left; but if you’ve got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve still got seventeen grand. There’s a math lesson for you.” -Steve Martin, American comedian, actor, banjo player, and frequent Saturday Night Live guest
Bacon-Wrapped Roulade of Veal stuffed with Caramelized Onions, Dried Cherries, Brioche Breadcrumbs, & Herbs, Laird’s Applejack Jus
“Mmmmm…..unexplained bacon.” -Homer Simpson, Renaissance (Every)Man, beer guzzler, patriarch of The Simpsons family, and die-hard bacon fanatic
Curried Zucchini Apple Soup with Yogurt & Pomegranate Seeds
“Only the pure of heart can make good soup.” -Ludwig van Beethoven, prolific and influential German composer/badass of the late 1700′s. Neither severe tinnitus nor total deafness stopped him from creating some of the most beautiful music the world has ever known.
Home-Cured Gravlax
“You piss me off you Salmon…..You’re too expensive in restaurants.” -Eddie Izzard, incredible British comedian, actor, and occasional transvestite
Cream Scones with Wild Blueberries & Lemon Zest
“It happens every time. They all become blueberries.” -Gene Wilder, quirky American actor (and once-upon-a-time husband to the amazing Gilda Radner) as Willy Wonka in the brilliant 1971 film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Wheatberry Salad with Orange Citronette, Cranberries, Feta, Wild Arugula, and Toasted Pignoli
“To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist – the problem is entirely the same in both cases. To know exactly how much oil one must put with one’s vinegar.” -Oscar Wilde, Irish rabble-rouser, author, playwright, and poet
Classic Beef Stew
“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.” -Dr. Seuss, pseudonym of American writer/illustrator Theodor Seuss Geisel, writer of (hands, like, totally down) my most beloved and revered children’s books ever in the history of…..ever
Holiday Holly Salad
“I ate them like salad, books were my sandwich for lunch, my tiffin and dinner and midnight munch.” -Ray Bradbury, American sci-fi master and one of my most favoritest authors of all time
Savory Egg, Bacon, and Leek Tart
“I’d rather be shut up in a very modest cottage, with my books, my family, and a few old friends, dining on simple bacon, and letting the world roll on as it liked, than to occupy the most splendid post which any human power can give.” -Thomas Jefferson, American badass (and forefather, and yeah, President – but mostly a badass)
Classic Beef Stroganoff with Buttered Egg Noodles
“All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbecue and there was no meat, I would say “Yo Goober! Where’s the meat?” I’m trying to impress people, here, Lisa. You don’t win friends with salad.” -Homer Simpson, lovable carnivore and patriarch of The Simpsons family
Sautéed Skate with Grenobloise Sauce and Potato Vapeur
“I think that fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?” -Douglas Adams, British satirist and mastermind of the incredible Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which every human being should read at least once
Classic Swedish Meatballs with Lingonberry Sauce and Dill-Coated Egg Noodles
“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they’re made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.” -Lemony Snicket, pseudonym of Daniel Handler, the wonderful author of perfectly un-PC, slightly topsy-turvy children’s stories
Arroz Con Pollo
“Nobody calls me chicken, Needles. Nobody.” -The magically non-aging Michael J. Fox as the excitable time-traveller Marty McFly in Back to the Future, Part II
Brown Butter Maple Apple Walnut Muffins
“Adam was but human – this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.” -Mark Twain, American writer and totally awesome dude that has written and said a whole bunch of totally awesome stuff
Pozole
“Bib and napkin, knife and fork, is the only way that I’ll touch pork.” -Kermit the Frog to Miss Piggy, as he rejects her constant advances yet again
Chipotle Jicama Slaw with Asian Pear, Green Cabbage, and Radish
“I wonder what you’d have on the side with a plate of Deep-Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-Strychnine mash?” -Robin McKinley, American writer and repeat Newbery offender (man I loved Newbery books as a kid…..The Westing Game! Ramona Quimby, Age 8! Sigh.)
Classic Guacamole
“I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. I hate it. I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.” -Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin’s clueless and awkward boss on the American version of Ricky Gervais’s brilliant “The Office”
3-Bean Ground Turkey Chili
“The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.” -Seth Green, American actor and comedian
Ginger-Spiced Parsnip and Pear Soup with Chive Cream
“Nobody loves me, nobody cares. Nobody picks me peaches and pears.” -Shel Silverstein, American writer, poet, and composer
Classic Pot Roast
“Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we’ve got a lot more beef steak than any other country, and that’s why you ought to be glad you’re an American. And people have started looking at these big hunks of bloody meat on their plates, you know, and wondering what on Earth they think they’re doing.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., American writer and satirist
Orange and Cardamom Yogurt Loaf
“Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear.” -Oliver Sacks, British neurologist, author, and all-around fascinating human
Acorn Squash with Merguez Sausage, Wild Rice, Mushroom, and Toasted Pignoli Stuffing
“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist and writer
Chunky White Chocolate, Strawberry, and Toasted Almond Cookies
“C is for ‘Cookie,’ and cookie is for me.” -Cookie Monster, Sesame Street’s lovable (and slightly psychotic) sweet-toothed Muppet
Mom’s Apple Pie
“In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” -Carl Sagan, American Astronomer, Author, and Personal Hero