
“The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.” -Seth Green, American actor and comedian

“Nobody loves me, nobody cares. Nobody picks me peaches and pears.” -Shel Silverstein, American writer, poet, and composer

“Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we’ve got a lot more beef steak than any other country, and that’s why you ought to be glad you’re an American. And people have started looking at these big hunks of bloody meat on their plates, you know, and wondering what on Earth they think they’re doing.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., American writer and satirist

“Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear.” -Oliver Sacks, British neurologist, author, and all-around fascinating human

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist and writer

“C is for ‘Cookie,’ and cookie is for me.” -Cookie Monster, Sesame Street’s lovable (and slightly psychotic) sweet-toothed Muppet

“In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” -Carl Sagan, American Astronomer, Author, and Personal Hero

“I always wanted to be a farmer. There is a tradition of that in my family.” -Björk, eccentric Icelandic singer, avant-garde composer, producer, and actress I used to date a lovely lad named Jeremi, whose family is equally lovely. They live in an incredible apartment on Roosevelt Island overlooking the East River and the Manhattan [...]

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.” -Oscar Wilde, late 19th century Irish playwright, poet, and author A while back, I started asking around in my family if they could help me with a project I was working on. I wanted to begin to collect the recipes of our family [...]

“Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” -Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist

“Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.” -Anton Chekhov, Russian writer and father of the modern short story

“I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?” -Jack Handey, the endlessly quotable creator of Saturday Night Live’s “Deep Thoughts”

“An army marches on its stomach.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, French military and political figure Until I was 9 years old, my family lived in South Bend, Indiana. My Father was a graduate of the school of architecture at University of Notre Dame and my Mother was born and raised there. Having moved to Colorado for my [...]

“In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.” -W. Somerset Maugham, English writer and author of one of my favorite books, The Razor’s Edge Growing up in Colorado Springs, we had this incredible French bakery down the road from our house in Old Colorado City called “La Baguette.” [...]

“Ghostbusters. Yes, we’re back.” -American actress Annie Potts as quirky, bug-eyed secretary Janine Melnitz in “Ghostbusters 2“ I’m proud to announce that we’re back online, coming to you live and direct from our new headquarters in a renovated firehouse in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. It’s just like Ghostbusters, sort of! The new kitchen is amazing and I [...]

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.” -Douglas Adams, British author, satirist, and mastermind of the incredible “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

“As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable – until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but a HUMAN HEAD!!” -Jack Handey, American author and humorist Oddly enough, I was inspired to create a fruit crumble by my new camera. I really wanted to [...]

“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I’ll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn’t get more meat, I’ll just say ‘Oh, you mean this?’ and pull out a big piece of meat [...]

“I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon moustache, five-o’clock shadow made of bacon bits, and a bacon body.” -Homer Simpson, endlessly quotable, lovable, dense (yet strangely wise and prolific) father to one of the greatest television families of all time, The Simpsons.

The prospect of directly referencing a recipe that I’ve learned at The French Culinary Institute is a bit of a daunting one. I don’t want to anger the school I adore by violating copyright or anything like that, but at the same time, I want to document what I’m learning for my family, my friends, [...]

I have always wished that I had gotten a chance to know my Uncle Jim better. I know him mostly through stories that my father would tell me about his big brother, as we never lived in the same city and he died tragically from cancer when I was a teenager. According to my father, [...]

“I travel the world, and I’m happy to say that America is still the great melting pot – maybe a chunky stew rather than a melting pot at this point, but you know what I mean.” -Philip Glass, American composer This recipe is one of my first inventions since starting culinary school. The inspiration came [...]

“Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones that eat broccoli.” -Bill Cosby, American comedian & author This is a family recipe I am especially proud to share, as it comes from my paternal Grandma Rose. She (as you may know if you’ve read [...]