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Recipe Box
Pissaladiére
“It was a meal that we shall never forget; more accurately, it was several meals that we shall never forget, because it went beyond the gastronomic frontiers of anything we had ever experienced, both in quantity and length. It started with homemade pizza – not one, but three: anchovy, mushroom, and cheese, and it was obligatory to have a slice of each.” -Peter Mayle, British writer and ex-advertising industry drone, in his famous book A Year in Provence
Black Pepper Beef Jerky
“I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher.” -Orson Welles-esque The Brain (of Pinky & The Brain fame), determined to pass for a country singer in yet another world domination plot
Souffléd Lemon, Poppyseed, & Ricotta Pancakes
“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.” -Demetri Martin, American Comedian & Smarty-Pants Polymath
Homemade Ricotta Cheese
“Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist, tree-hugger, political activist, and writer
Homemade Bagels
“You are getting sleepy. You…..are no longer a cat. You are a bagel.” -ALF, wise-guy Melmac ex-pat alien and late-80′s sitcom hero, attempting to hypnotize Lucky, the Tanner’s cat
Thai-Inspired Seafood Salad with Snow Pea Shoots, Napa Cabbage, & Fresh Herbs
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize ‘Oh my God…..I could be eating a slow learner.” -Lyndon B. Johnson, Democratic poverty and civil rights advocate, as well as 36th president of the United States, stepping into office upon the assassination of JFK
Classic Insalata Caprese
“Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a Poppa tomato, a Momma tomato, & a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, & smooshes him…..& says, “Catch up!” -The radiant Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace in Quentin Tarantino’s classic 1994 film Pulp Fiction
Thin-Crust Pizza with Fresh Figs, Goat Cheese, and Arugula
“Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs.” -The Muppet Show’s wind-up Robot Kermit, who, unlike real Kermit, openly showed his affection for Miss Piggy
Crostini with Grilled Radish, Anchovy Compound Butter, & Micro Greens
“I know I’m an acquired taste – I’m anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things.” -Tori Amos, American pianist, singer, composer, lyrical master, and fellow redhead
Ragoût of Rabbit with Hand-Rolled Sweet Potato Gnocchi, Shiitake Mushrooms, & Pan Jus
“Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.” -John Steinbeck, American novelist and writer of one of my most all-time most favoritest books (I have a lot of those), East of Eden
Ripe Banana & Toasted Walnut Yogurt Loaf
“Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.” -Groucho Marx, be-moustached, be-spectacled American comedian & vaudevillian
Herb-Baked Eggs with Creamy Sorrel Sauce
“Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals.” -George Orwell, brilliant English dystopian writer and socio-political critic
Classic Strawberry Shortcake
“I’ve got it all in here. Ultra Violets. Flying Saucers. Strawberry Bootlace. C’mon. Get involved.” -Self-proclaimed “confuser” Noel Fielding as “The Hitcher” in the trippy, brilliant television version of Britain’s so-so-so-good The Mighty Boosh
Mt. Olympus Sandwiches
“I believe that all anyone really wants in life is to sit in peace & eat a sandwich.” -American writer & actress Tina Fey as alter-ego Liz Lemon on NBC’s 30 Rock
Wild Sea Bass Ceviche with Avocado, Purple Potatoes, & Fried Plantains
“It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.” -Lemony Snicket, pseudonym and alter-ego of American children’s writer Daniel Handler
Spiced Braised Lamb Shank with CousCous
“On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use….Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. “Is thems the thoughts of cows?” I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in the front window. “I want me some lamb chop with handles on ‘em.” -David Sedaris, American story-teller and frequent NPR contributor, in his year 2000 essay collection Me Talk Pretty One Day
Pickled Red Cabbage & Asian Pear Salad with Poppyseeds
“The time has come,’ the walrus said, ‘to talk of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax – of cabbages and kings.” -Lewis Carroll, British author, clergyman, mathematician, and photographer, from his classic book Through the Looking Glass
Homemade Pizza with Green Olive Tapenade & Buffalo Mozzarella
“Being in this band in the early 1980′s made you feel like you were part of a pizza.” -Roger Taylor, drummer of English 80′s superband Duran Duran
Baked Mac & Cheese with Herbed Panko Topping & Fresh Tomato
“He puts some MacAttack Mac & Cheese in the microwave and dons headphones and takes out a video game so he won’t be bored during the forty seconds it takes his lunch to cook.” -George Saunders, awesome American writer/satirist, from his 2006 short story collection In Persuasion Nation
Homemade Cherry, Raisin, & Nut Granola
“We’re developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals & automobiles, but won’t be able to think.” -Rod Serling, American creator/narrator of the incomparable television series The Twilight Zone
Kale Chips
“I like to pick my own vegetables.” -Shelley Duvall, iconic & quirky American actress, and creator of one of my favorite childhood Betamax rentals, Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theater
Popcorn with Rosemary, Sea Salt, and Lemon Butter
“If my life were a movie, this is where I would go out for popcorn.” -Charles Schultz, American cartoonist and creator of the Peanuts gang
Rustic White Bread
“If you’ve got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve got 71 cents left; but if you’ve got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve still got seventeen grand. There’s a math lesson for you.” -Steve Martin, American comedian, actor, banjo player, and frequent Saturday Night Live guest
Bacon-Wrapped Roulade of Veal stuffed with Caramelized Onions, Dried Cherries, Brioche Breadcrumbs, & Herbs, Laird’s Applejack Jus
“Mmmmm…..unexplained bacon.” -Homer Simpson, Renaissance (Every)Man, beer guzzler, patriarch of The Simpsons family, and die-hard bacon fanatic