RadioGastronomy The table as the gravitational center of our lives.
Appetizers, Hors D’Oeuvres, & Canapes
Falafel
“Can I have a falafel with hot sauce, a side order of babaganouj, and a seltzer, please?” -90′s indie darling Parker Posey in Daisy Von Scherler Mayer’s 1995 nightlife comedy Party Girl
Gỏi Dưa Chuột (Vietnamese Cucumber Salad with Pork, Chicken, & Shrimp)
“I’m chill. I’m chill as a cucumber, man.” -Canadian actor/comedian Seth Rogen as process server Dale Denton in Judd Apatow’s 2008 celebration of stoner hijinks, Pineapple Express
Sticky, Sweet, & Spicy Asian-Style Chicken Wings
“Left wing, chicken wing, it don’t make no difference to me.” -American Depression-era folk legend Woody Guthrie
Parmigiano Reggiano, Black Pepper, & Buttermilk Biscotti
“No, I do not want a biscotti with that.” “God! How can you stand these assholes?” “Some people are OK, but mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.” -Thora Birch’s Enid and Scarlett Johansson’s Rebecca reacting to a rude coffee shop customer in 2001′s indie darling Ghost World
Babaganouj (Lebanese Eggplant Purée)
“Very well, I will marry you if you promise not to make me eat eggplant.” -Colombian author Gabriel García Márquez in his celebrated examination of the complexities involved in matters of the heart, Love In The Time Of Cholera
Feta & Roasted Red Pepper Spread with Olive Oil, Fresh Parsley, & Black Salt
“It’s not everyone that can say that he has had cholera three times, and cured himself by living on red pepper and brandy.” -Arthur Conan Doyle, Scottish doctor, writer, and creator of fictional detective Sherlock Holmes
Aromatic Moroccan-Style Lamb Meatballs
“All these years I’ve been petting lambs when I should have been shoving them in my mouth.” -Noted Scientologist, stock car enthusiast, and voice actress Nancy Cartwright as her most famous character, the eternally mischievous and lovable Bart Simpson
Wild Mushroom & Green Apple Smørrebrød
“I’m a wild man. I live in these tunnels eating roots and mushrooms. I’m crazy. I could do anything!” -Norwegian Blue Lion pilot Sven, in the depths of madness while marooned on Planet Doom, in the popular mid-80′s Japanese animated series Voltron
Lettuce Wraps with Wild Shrimp, Mango, & Vanilla Bean Salad
“Once, in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn’t leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.” -Tina Fey as the lovable Liz Lemon, lover of junk food and Star Wars, on NBC’s consistently funny hit comedy 30 Rock
Albóndigas de Bacalao (Spanish Salt Cod Balls)
“Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?…Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it f*&#s you, huh?” -Retired radiologist Sam Halpern on his son Justin’s famous Twitter account “Shit My Dad Says”
Stilton, Walnut, & Thyme Crackers
“Sometimes I think that boy’s cheese done slid right off his cracker!” -Melinda Mickens, shape-shifting deadbeat birth mother of Sam Merlotte, in HBO’s campy, sexy vampire drama True Blood
Spanakopita
“Eat your spinach, you no good infink. Eat it. EAT IT. Eat it.” -Poopdeck Pappy, Popeye’s spitting image and reluctant, foul-mouthed father
Chinese-Style Ground Pork Dumplings with Soy-Based Dipping Sauce
“What do you do when the lights are too bright? You dim sum.” -My awesome Daddy, American architect, food/wine nerd, and frequent deliverer of terrible, eye-roll-inducing jokes like this one
Pissaladiére
“It was a meal that we shall never forget; more accurately, it was several meals that we shall never forget, because it went beyond the gastronomic frontiers of anything we had ever experienced, both in quantity and length. It started with homemade pizza – not one, but three: anchovy, mushroom, and cheese, and it was obligatory to have a slice of each.” -Peter Mayle, British writer and ex-advertising industry drone, in his famous book A Year in Provence
Black Pepper Beef Jerky
“I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher.” -Orson Welles-esque The Brain (of Pinky & The Brain fame), determined to pass for a country singer in yet another world domination plot
Homemade Ricotta Cheese
“Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist, tree-hugger, political activist, and writer
Homemade Bagels
“You are getting sleepy. You…..are no longer a cat. You are a bagel.” -ALF, wise-guy Melmac ex-pat alien and late-80′s sitcom hero, attempting to hypnotize Lucky, the Tanner’s cat
Classic Insalata Caprese
“Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a Poppa tomato, a Momma tomato, & a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, & smooshes him…..& says, “Catch up!” -The radiant Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace in Quentin Tarantino’s classic 1994 film Pulp Fiction
Thin-Crust Pizza with Fresh Figs, Goat Cheese, and Arugula
“Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs.” -The Muppet Show’s wind-up Robot Kermit, who, unlike real Kermit, openly showed his affection for Miss Piggy
Crostini with Grilled Radish, Anchovy Compound Butter, & Micro Greens
“I know I’m an acquired taste – I’m anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things.” -Tori Amos, American pianist, singer, composer, lyrical master, and fellow redhead
Wild Sea Bass Ceviche with Avocado, Purple Potatoes, & Fried Plantains
“It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.” -Lemony Snicket, pseudonym and alter-ego of American children’s writer Daniel Handler
Homemade Pizza with Green Olive Tapenade & Buffalo Mozzarella
“Being in this band in the early 1980′s made you feel like you were part of a pizza.” -Roger Taylor, drummer of English 80′s superband Duran Duran
Kale Chips
“I like to pick my own vegetables.” -Shelley Duvall, iconic & quirky American actress, and creator of one of my favorite childhood Betamax rentals, Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theater
Curried Zucchini Apple Soup with Yogurt & Pomegranate Seeds
“Only the pure of heart can make good soup.” -Ludwig van Beethoven, prolific and influential German composer/badass of the late 1700′s. Neither severe tinnitus nor total deafness stopped him from creating some of the most beautiful music the world has ever known.