RadioGastronomy The table as the gravitational center of our lives.
Baked Goods
Kalafiory w Cieście (Polish Cauliflower Pie)
“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” -Legendary American author, pistol, troubled entrepreneur, and avid traveller Mark Twain
Not-Too-Sweet Pecan Pie Bars
“Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash. But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.” -Comedian Billy Crystal starring as Harry Burns in the classic New York City love story When Harry Met Sally
Valrhona Chocolate Crinkle Cookies
“All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -American cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, creator of the comic strip classic Peanuts
Parmigiano Reggiano, Black Pepper, & Buttermilk Biscotti
“No, I do not want a biscotti with that.” “God! How can you stand these assholes?” “Some people are OK, but mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.” -Thora Birch’s Enid and Scarlett Johansson’s Rebecca reacting to a rude coffee shop customer in 2001′s indie darling Ghost World
Buttermilk Scones with Apple, Cheddar, & Thyme
“Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn’t.” -Friedrich Nietzsche, German existentialist, nihilist, and polymath
Cardamom Scented Blueberry Buckle
“When any lagged behind, the cry of ‘blueberries’ was most effectual to bring them up.” -Henry David Thoreau, American poet, transcendentalist, and tree-hugger
Classic Lattice-Top Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
“If I had a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, I’d choose pie heaven. It’s probably a trick, but if it’s not, Mmmmmmm boy.” -The unstoppable Jack Handey, who almost never fails to make me laugh just a little bit
Homemade Ciabatta Bread
“I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it’s understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense.” -Jack Handey, American humorist and creator of the infamous Mike Nesmith-narrated ‘Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey’ sketches on Saturday Night Live
Sage & Buttermilk Biscuits
“Whole worlds have been tamed by men who ate biscuits.” -The truly incomparable Jeff Bridges as the aging, troubled, fading country music star Bad Blake in 2009′s Oscar darling Crazy Heart
Stilton, Walnut, & Thyme Crackers
“Sometimes I think that boy’s cheese done slid right off his cracker!” -Melinda Mickens, shape-shifting deadbeat birth mother of Sam Merlotte, in HBO’s campy, sexy vampire drama True Blood
Spanakopita
“Eat your spinach, you no good infink. Eat it. EAT IT. Eat it.” -Poopdeck Pappy, Popeye’s spitting image and reluctant, foul-mouthed father
Pluot Clafoutis
“Would I blow everyone’s mind if I ate dessert first?” -The adorable Richard Ayoade as Reynholm Industries’ resident socially awkward über-nerd, Moss, on the hysterically funny Channel 4 comedy The IT Crowd
Chocolate-Drizzled Pecan Bourbon Shortbread Squares
“It can laugh all it wants. The galaxy’s not getting any of our bourbon.” -Commander Charles “Trip” Tucker III (played by actor Connor Trinneer), the Enterprise’s chief engineer on the failed UPN series Star Trek: Enterprise
Pissaladiére
“It was a meal that we shall never forget; more accurately, it was several meals that we shall never forget, because it went beyond the gastronomic frontiers of anything we had ever experienced, both in quantity and length. It started with homemade pizza – not one, but three: anchovy, mushroom, and cheese, and it was obligatory to have a slice of each.” -Peter Mayle, British writer and ex-advertising industry drone, in his famous book A Year in Provence
Homemade Bagels
“You are getting sleepy. You…..are no longer a cat. You are a bagel.” -ALF, wise-guy Melmac ex-pat alien and late-80′s sitcom hero, attempting to hypnotize Lucky, the Tanner’s cat
Thin-Crust Pizza with Fresh Figs, Goat Cheese, and Arugula
“Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs.” -The Muppet Show’s wind-up Robot Kermit, who, unlike real Kermit, openly showed his affection for Miss Piggy
Ripe Banana & Toasted Walnut Yogurt Loaf
“Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.” -Groucho Marx, be-moustached, be-spectacled American comedian & vaudevillian
Classic Strawberry Shortcake
“I’ve got it all in here. Ultra Violets. Flying Saucers. Strawberry Bootlace. C’mon. Get involved.” -Self-proclaimed “confuser” Noel Fielding as “The Hitcher” in the trippy, brilliant television version of Britain’s so-so-so-good The Mighty Boosh
Homemade Pizza with Green Olive Tapenade & Buffalo Mozzarella
“Being in this band in the early 1980′s made you feel like you were part of a pizza.” -Roger Taylor, drummer of English 80′s superband Duran Duran
Cream Scones with Wild Blueberries & Lemon Zest
“It happens every time. They all become blueberries.” -Gene Wilder, quirky American actor (and once-upon-a-time husband to the amazing Gilda Radner) as Willy Wonka in the brilliant 1971 film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Savory Egg, Bacon, and Leek Tart
“I’d rather be shut up in a very modest cottage, with my books, my family, and a few old friends, dining on simple bacon, and letting the world roll on as it liked, than to occupy the most splendid post which any human power can give.” -Thomas Jefferson, American badass (and forefather, and yeah, President – but mostly a badass)
Brown Butter Maple Apple Walnut Muffins
“Adam was but human – this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.” -Mark Twain, American writer and totally awesome dude that has written and said a whole bunch of totally awesome stuff
Orange and Cardamom Yogurt Loaf
“Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear.” -Oliver Sacks, British neurologist, author, and all-around fascinating human
Chunky White Chocolate, Strawberry, and Toasted Almond Cookies
“C is for ‘Cookie,’ and cookie is for me.” -Cookie Monster, Sesame Street’s lovable (and slightly psychotic) sweet-toothed Muppet