
“I’m a wild man. I live in these tunnels eating roots and mushrooms. I’m crazy. I could do anything!” -Norwegian Blue Lion pilot Sven, in the depths of madness while marooned on Planet Doom, in the popular mid-80′s Japanese animated series Voltron

“Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?…Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it f*s you, huh?” -Retired radiologist Sam Halpern on his son Justin’s famous Twitter account “Shit My Dad Says”

“I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it’s understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense.” -Jack Handey, American humorist and creator of the infamous Mike Nesmith-narrated ‘Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey’ sketches on Saturday Night Live

“Whole worlds have been tamed by men who ate biscuits.” -The truly incomparable Jeff Bridges as the aging, troubled, fading country music star Bad Blake in 2009′s Oscar darling Crazy Heart

“I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” -Lyndon B. Johnson, 36th American president and consistent deliverer of badass one-liners

“It was a meal that we shall never forget; more accurately, it was several meals that we shall never forget, because it went beyond the gastronomic frontiers of anything we had ever experienced, both in quantity and length. It started with homemade pizza – not one, but three: anchovy, mushroom, and cheese, and it was obligatory to have a slice of each.” -Peter Mayle, British writer and ex-advertising industry drone, in his famous book A Year in Provence

“You are getting sleepy. You…..are no longer a cat. You are a bagel.” -ALF, wise-guy Melmac ex-pat alien and late-80′s sitcom hero, attempting to hypnotize Lucky, the Tanner’s cat

“Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs.” -The Muppet Show’s wind-up Robot Kermit, who, unlike real Kermit, openly showed his affection for Miss Piggy

“I believe that all anyone really wants in life is to sit in peace & eat a sandwich.” -American writer & actress Tina Fey as alter-ego Liz Lemon on NBC’s 30 Rock

“If you’ve got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve got 71 cents left; but if you’ve got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve still got seventeen grand. There’s a math lesson for you.” -Steve Martin, American comedian, actor, banjo player, and frequent Saturday Night Live guest

“I think that fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?” -Douglas Adams, British satirist and mastermind of the incredible Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which every human being should read at least once

“I always wanted to be a farmer. There is a tradition of that in my family.” -Björk, eccentric Icelandic singer, avant-garde composer, producer, and actress

“An army marches on its stomach.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, French military and political figure