
“You piss me off you Salmon…..You’re too expensive in restaurants.” -Eddie Izzard, incredible British comedian, actor, and occasional transvestite

“Bib and napkin, knife and fork, is the only way that I’ll touch pork.” -Kermit the Frog to Miss Piggy, as he rejects her constant advances yet again

“I wonder what you’d have on the side with a plate of Deep-Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-Strychnine mash?” -Robin McKinley, American writer and repeat Newbery offender (man I loved Newbery books as a kid…..The Westing Game! Ramona Quimby, Age 8! Sigh.)

“I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. I hate it. I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.” -Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin’s clueless and awkward boss on the American version of Ricky Gervais’s brilliant “The Office”