
“Only the pure of heart can make good soup.” -Ludwig van Beethoven, prolific and influential German composer/badass of the late 1700’s. Neither severe tinnitus nor total deafness stopped him from creating some of the most beautiful music the world has ever known.

“You piss me off you Salmon…..You’re too expensive in restaurants.” -Eddie Izzard, incredible British comedian, actor, and occasional transvestite

“To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist – the problem is entirely the same in both cases. To know exactly how much oil one must put with one’s vinegar.” -Oscar Wilde, Irish rabble-rouser, author, playwright, and poet

“Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” -Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist

“I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?” -Jack Handey, the endlessly quotable creator of Saturday Night Live’s “Deep Thoughts”