
“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they’re made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.” -Lemony Snicket, pseudonym of Daniel Handler, the wonderful author of perfectly un-PC, slightly topsy-turvy children’s stories

“Nobody calls me chicken, Needles. Nobody.” -The magically non-aging Michael J. Fox as the excitable time-traveller Marty McFly in Back to the Future, Part II

“Bib and napkin, knife and fork, is the only way that I’ll touch pork.” -Kermit the Frog to Miss Piggy, as he rejects her constant advances yet again

“I wonder what you’d have on the side with a plate of Deep-Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-Strychnine mash?” -Robin McKinley, American writer and repeat Newbery offender (man I loved Newbery books as a kid…..The Westing Game! Ramona Quimby, Age 8! Sigh.)

“I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. I hate it. I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.” -Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin’s clueless and awkward boss on the American version of Ricky Gervais’s brilliant “The Office”

“The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.” -Seth Green, American actor and comedian

“Nobody loves me, nobody cares. Nobody picks me peaches and pears.” -Shel Silverstein, American writer, poet, and composer

“Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we’ve got a lot more beef steak than any other country, and that’s why you ought to be glad you’re an American. And people have started looking at these big hunks of bloody meat on their plates, you know, and wondering what on Earth they think they’re doing.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., American writer and satirist

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist and writer

“I always wanted to be a farmer. There is a tradition of that in my family.” -Björk, eccentric Icelandic singer, avant-garde composer, producer, and actress I used to date a lovely lad named Jeremi, whose family is equally lovely. They live in an incredible apartment on Roosevelt Island overlooking the East River and the Manhattan [...]

“Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” -Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist

“I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?” -Jack Handey, the endlessly quotable creator of Saturday Night Live’s “Deep Thoughts”

“An army marches on its stomach.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, French military and political figure Until I was 9 years old, my family lived in South Bend, Indiana. My Father was a graduate of the school of architecture at University of Notre Dame and my Mother was born and raised there. Having moved to Colorado for my [...]

“Ghostbusters. Yes, we’re back.” -American actress Annie Potts as quirky, bug-eyed secretary Janine Melnitz in “Ghostbusters 2“ I’m proud to announce that we’re back online, coming to you live and direct from our new headquarters in a renovated firehouse in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. It’s just like Ghostbusters, sort of! The new kitchen is amazing and I [...]

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.” -Douglas Adams, British author, satirist, and mastermind of the incredible “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I’ll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn’t get more meat, I’ll just say ‘Oh, you mean this?’ and pull out a big piece of meat [...]

“I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon moustache, five-o’clock shadow made of bacon bits, and a bacon body.” -Homer Simpson, endlessly quotable, lovable, dense (yet strangely wise and prolific) father to one of the greatest television families of all time, The Simpsons.

The prospect of directly referencing a recipe that I’ve learned at The French Culinary Institute is a bit of a daunting one. I don’t want to anger the school I adore by violating copyright or anything like that, but at the same time, I want to document what I’m learning for my family, my friends, [...]

I have always wished that I had gotten a chance to know my Uncle Jim better. I know him mostly through stories that my father would tell me about his big brother, as we never lived in the same city and he died tragically from cancer when I was a teenager. According to my father, [...]

“I travel the world, and I’m happy to say that America is still the great melting pot – maybe a chunky stew rather than a melting pot at this point, but you know what I mean.” -Philip Glass, American composer This recipe is one of my first inventions since starting culinary school. The inspiration came [...]

“Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones that eat broccoli.” -Bill Cosby, American comedian & author This is a family recipe I am especially proud to share, as it comes from my paternal Grandma Rose. She (as you may know if you’ve read [...]