
“A salad is not a meal. It is a style.” -Feisty, chain-smoking New York-based writer, humorist, and iconic trend-setter Fran Lebowitz

“I’m chill. I’m chill as a cucumber, man.” -Canadian actor/comedian Seth Rogen as process server Dale Denton in Judd Apatow’s 2008 celebration of stoner hijinks, Pineapple Express

“They’re only noodles Michael.” -Kiefer Sutherland as David, the darkly smug leader of Santa Carla’s vampire gang, in Joel Schumacher’s classic 1987 movie The Lost Boys

“I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans.” -Stephen King, American master of horror, fantasy, and suspenseful writing, in his best-selling 1994 novel Insomnia

“We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.” -Actress Jennifer Coolidge as voluptuous trophy wife Sherri Ann Cabot in Christopher Guest’s hilarious mockumentary Best In Show

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” -Albert Einstein, German-born patent clerk, scientific visionary, and enviably humble human

“When any lagged behind, the cry of ‘blueberries’ was most effectual to bring them up.” -Henry David Thoreau, American poet, transcendentalist, and tree-hugger

“One grain of sand. That’s all that remains of my vast empire.” -Doe-eyed Childlike Empress, the fading, heart-broken, actually-very-old ruler of Fantasia in Wolfgang Petersen’s 1984 film adaptation of The Neverending Story

“Once, in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn’t leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.” -Tina Fey as the lovable Liz Lemon, lover of junk food and Star Wars, on NBC’s consistently funny hit comedy 30 Rock

“Would I blow everyone’s mind if I ate dessert first?” -The adorable Richard Ayoade as Reynholm Industries’ resident socially awkward über-nerd, Moss, on the hysterically funny Channel 4 comedy The IT Crowd

“Uh yeah, I’ll have a Tom Collins.” -Charmingly-schnozzed American actor Owen Wilson as Dignan in Wes Anderson’s 1996 breakout film, Bottle Rocket

“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.” -Demetri Martin, American Comedian & Smarty-Pants Polymath

“Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are.” -Henry David Thoreau, American transcendentalist, tree-hugger, political activist, and writer

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize ‘Oh my God…..I could be eating a slow learner.” -Lyndon B. Johnson, Democratic poverty and civil rights advocate, as well as 36th president of the United States, stepping into office upon the assassination of JFK

“Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a Poppa tomato, a Momma tomato, & a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, & smooshes him…..& says, “Catch up!” -The radiant Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace in Quentin Tarantino’s classic 1994 film Pulp Fiction

“Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals.” -George Orwell, brilliant English dystopian writer and socio-political critic

“I’ve got it all in here. Ultra Violets. Flying Saucers. Strawberry Bootlace. C’mon. Get involved.” -Self-proclaimed “confuser” Noel Fielding as “The Hitcher” in the trippy, brilliant television version of Britain’s so-so-so-good The Mighty Boosh

“I believe that all anyone really wants in life is to sit in peace & eat a sandwich.” -American writer & actress Tina Fey as alter-ego Liz Lemon on NBC’s 30 Rock

“It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.” -Lemony Snicket, pseudonym and alter-ego of American children’s writer Daniel Handler

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming: GERONIMO!” -Hunter S. Thompson, American writer, weirdo, & all-around style all-star

“I wonder what you’d have on the side with a plate of Deep-Fried Anxiety. Pickles? Coleslaw? Potato-Strychnine mash?” -Robin McKinley, American writer and repeat Newbery offender (man I loved Newbery books as a kid…..The Westing Game! Ramona Quimby, Age 8! Sigh.)

“I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. I hate it. I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.” -Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin’s clueless and awkward boss on the American version of Ricky Gervais’s brilliant “The Office”

“I always wanted to be a farmer. There is a tradition of that in my family.” -Björk, eccentric Icelandic singer, avant-garde composer, producer, and actress

“Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” -Albert Einstein, German-born theoretical physicist